joyful girl

we owe each other the world. the world owes us nothing.

almost there September 24, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — amyjoyfox @ 2:41 am

almost there

Originally uploaded by amy joy

she’s still not quite straight in the bumbo, but a big girl can be hard to balance sometimes!

balance…i think we’re starting to approach it in this adventure called “going back to work,” or at least we’re trying. i cried the first day, but alex was just happy as could be. truly, i have the best possible child care arrangement. she spends one day a week being loved on by her grandmother, and the other work days hanging out with my friend allison (whom i trust like i would a family member) and her son levi, who is almost two months older than alex. it is and will be rare for her to be at another caregivers for a full eight hours. the thing is, i never thought i would be a working mom of a baby. somehow, though, here i am. daniel works very hard to support our family, and we would make it possible for me to stay at home full-time if we chose to. and, if i still had my prior job, we probably would’ve made that choice. but then the opportunity for this job came up – doing what i feel called to do with a lot of flexibility and good health insurance, and now i leave her with her dad in the morning and pick her up at the sitter’s in the afternoon, and i understand the guilt that other moms talk about – guilt that somehow feels intensified when i talk to other moms who are staying home all the time. but then i take a look at other women with jobs outside the home, and see that they (at least among the high-quality women i have a chance to know) are just as strongly bonded to their children as any other mother, and their kids are still smart and happy and well-adjusted. i also find myself thinking about how i’ve always said i want my children to be surrounded by community and have strong relationships with others, and this is a chance for her to learn healthy relationships from the beginning. so, essentially, i’m doing a lot of adjusting. when i am at work and with clients, and getting to use the clinical therapist part of my brain, it is good. but my heart also breaks a little bit every day.
tell me, working mothers – does it get easier?


5 Responses to “almost there”

  1. Jody Says:

    Amy! I hear you… I work similar to you – part-time in a job a feel called to. I always feel a bit guilty when I’m around stay-at-home moms, too, but equally (if not more) LOVE what I do and am grateful for the opportunity. It’s taken some adjustment from my ‘original plan’, but also feels like God’s grace to me, given my personality, etc. I tried staying home full time for a while and it nearly killed me. If we had been in a situation where Rukshan’s salary could support us (thank you, Taylor 🙂 I probably wouldn’t have worked. But such was not the case…

    I’ve been able to avoid official daycare until this year (my kids are now 3 and 5) and now they go two days a week. I still struggled sending them, but, like you, feel like there are good things about it. My daughter will be in kindergarten next year, and I think it will ease the separation anxiety for her. My son simply needs to be around more people besides me!

    thanks for asking the question – I’m still working through this one, 5 years into it, and would love to hear the perspective of some other moms as well!

  2. z Says:

    hi amy and dan,

    i’m cruising through sites and wanted to say how lovely your little girl is! how sweet she is. i’m sure you’re having a time with her…

    it sounds like you’re childcare situation is ideal. that’s wonderful! the comparison factor of parenting is enough to drive us all mad. here’s to being led by the spirit.



  3. Carol Nowlin Says:

    It does get easier! It took about six months for me to really adjust. But let me tell you, I am so thankful for the opportunity to work. Having good childcare makes all the difference too. And it helps me to think that women have shared childcare duties and done various kinds of meaningful work throughout history and across cultures. Your adorable baby is getting her needs met, and you do not have to be her sole provider of those needs. Working is a great way to keep a niche in your life carved out for your own identity. You can do it!

  4. MommyZabs Says:

    Coming from a stay at home/work from home mom…. don’t feel guilty around us… different people are called to different situations. God gave you your children by no mistake knowing your situation in advance. It is so great he provided such a child care scenario for you!

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