almost there September 24, 2008

almost there

Originally uploaded by amy joy

she’s still not quite straight in the bumbo, but a big girl can be hard to balance sometimes!

balance…i think we’re starting to approach it in this adventure called “going back to work,” or at least we’re trying. i cried the first day, but alex was just happy as could be. truly, i have the best possible child care arrangement. she spends one day a week being loved on by her grandmother, and the other work days hanging out with my friend allison (whom i trust like i would a family member) and her son levi, who is almost two months older than alex. it is and will be rare for her to be at another caregivers for a full eight hours. the thing is, i never thought i would be a working mom of a baby. somehow, though, here i am. daniel works very hard to support our family, and we would make it possible for me to stay at home full-time if we chose to. and, if i still had my prior job, we probably would’ve made that choice. but then the opportunity for this job came up – doing what i feel called to do with a lot of flexibility and good health insurance, and now i leave her with her dad in the morning and pick her up at the sitter’s in the afternoon, and i understand the guilt that other moms talk about – guilt that somehow feels intensified when i talk to other moms who are staying home all the time. but then i take a look at other women with jobs outside the home, and see that they (at least among the high-quality women i have a chance to know) are just as strongly bonded to their children as any other mother, and their kids are still smart and happy and well-adjusted. i also find myself thinking about how i’ve always said i want my children to be surrounded by community and have strong relationships with others, and this is a chance for her to learn healthy relationships from the beginning. so, essentially, i’m doing a lot of adjusting. when i am at work and with clients, and getting to use the clinical therapist part of my brain, it is good. but my heart also breaks a little bit every day.
tell me, working mothers – does it get easier?

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progress September 23, 2008

concerned

Originally uploaded by amy joy

this week, she seems to have gotten the hang of keeping her head straight, although i think she was a little concerned about the camera.

heavy head

heavy head

Originally uploaded by amy joy

a couple of weeks ago, alex was still getting used to tummy time – as evidenced by the lopsided head here. she’s awfully cute though, isn’t she?

September 14, 2008

it’s saturday night, and once again i’m surprised at how quickly our idea of a good weekend night has changed.  now i’m thrilled if alex goes to bed early and i can watch a project runway rerun without being interrupted.   good times!  it has been a good day – alex and i went to via colori to see sharon make art and get some lunch from tawd, then came home and took a nap together for a few hours, which was oh so lovely. we woke up just about the time daniel got home from work and took a walk, hung out as a family and overall just had a relaxing evening. also, daniel replaced the broken belt on our dryer, which is awesome in several aspects – we are not always a very handy repair kind of family, so it was cool that we figured out what was wrong with the dryer, and very cool to take it apart, and the coolest that he did all of the heavy work with a smile.

also, i have now met all of the official requirements to be a therapist in the state of ohio. hurrah! wednesday is the big “back-to-work” day. sigh. i’m so glad i have a job that i actually want, but it is still breaking my heart to leave alex.

oh – she has had a few recent milestones. last week she started holding her head up very well during tummy time (it’s taken her awhile – poor girl is in about the 97th percentile for head circumference – it has to be hard to lift a head that big!), and she rolled from her tummy to her back yesterday. i think that was mostly a response to her being annoyed with the dog trying to lick her face while i was busy talking to the guy from the electric company, but she did it! also, she slept for nine hours straight the other night. i think that was a response to the two shots she had earlier in the day, but still, i’m not complaining! she’s getting more smiley by the day, and likes to watch the world. she loves any toy/picture that involves birds, and likes to snuggle. she’s turning out to be a pretty mellow girl, but doesn’t hesitate to complain when she’s tired. (and when she’s in the car seat, but that seems to be getting a bit better this week.)

how are you? tell me!

happy anniversary to us! September 5, 2008

wedding day

Originally uploaded by amy joy

four years – sometimes i can barely remember my life before being married to daniel, and sometimes it seems like it was yesterday. i’m glad that i get to share the ups and downs with this man. and, the more we share this journey called marriage, the ups just keep getting better.

i love you, baby!

September 4, 2008

sarah palin strikes me as a very intelligent, engaging woman. she also has a very attractive family. (with some cool names, too! it’s hard to beat the cuteness of malia and sasha, though.) i have to say, however, that i was pretty disappointed with the republican convention tonight. i’m trying to watch it this week in the name of fairness, and to be open to what everyone has to say. but it seemed that every speaker took every opportunity they had to slam and make jokes about obama, biden and pretty much any prominent democrat. maybe i wasn’t paying enough attention last week, but the only real remarks that i remember being directly about mccain were along the lines of “john mccain is a man who loves his country and has spent a lifetime serving it, but we certainly don’t agree with his platform and politics.” i just had a sense this evening that the republicans were very much on the defense (resulting in offensive attacks), while last week seemed much more positive in tone. is it too much to ask for a respectful presentation of ideas, values and goals instead of personal attacks? certainly, palin and mccain have been under vicious attack by left-wing bloggers – but not by the democratic ticket and their campaign, or by prominent speakers at their convention…

speaking of respectful dialogue, i feel the need to say that although my political position is pretty clear if you read this blog or talk to me about the election, i really am not trying to start arguments or “convert” anyone to my position. i trust that if someone is going to vote, they have thought out their decision. i have many friends who disagree with me politically, and i welcome that. so please, if you love mccain, don’t be afraid to talk about it!

time for bed.

alex fought the bottle, and the bottle won September 2, 2008

sigh. it’s been a quiet day here – my mom left yesterday after several days of visiting, doting on alex, cleaning, doing yardwork, letting daniel and i go on a date, and keeping me company. it was lovely. but now she’s gone, and daniel’s been getting ready for the big skreened anniversary/grand opening of the new store tomorrow night, so alex and i were on our own today. she had her two-month check-up last week – she is 13 pounds, 6 1/2 ounces, at least 24 inches long, and had her first shot. (we only do them one or two at a time at our ped’s office.) the doctor said she needs more tummy time, so we’ve been working on that. she kind of hates it, but at least when she hates it, she’s moving around trying to get out of it. it does help some to prop her on her tummy on the boppy, but then she just kind of lays there. the doctor also said she isn’t too little for the bumbo seat, so we’ve been doing that, too. but our really big accomplishment today was getting her to take a bottle!

i should probably back up a bit. she needs to know how to take a bottle because i am returning to work two weeks from wednesday. i got my ideal job, though, which makes it a little bit easier emotionally. i’ll be working 32 hours a week doing home-based family therapy, and once i get into the swing of it, i should be able to do the paperwork, calls, etc., from home, so that will mean only about 20 hours a week of child care. alex will be watched by my friend allison and by daniel’s mom. so, overall, even though i hate the idea of leaving her she’ll be well cared for, it won’t actually be that many hours, and at least i’ll be doing a job that i like and find to be meaningful. (not to mention that it will utilize my new degree!) so, back to the bottle. when alex was first born, we had to supplement breastfeeding with formula due to some milk production issues that were related to my c-section and the painkillers i was given. at that time, she took a bottle just fine. but by the time she was two weeks old, we were done supplementing. we’ve tried a bottle a few times since then when daniel has watched her, but she refused. so today i decided to bite the bullet and delve into the frozen supply of milk i’ve been stockpiling so that she doesn’t make things miserable for the babysitter. it wasn’t easy, but we did it! i don’t want to give her bottles myself very often in order to prevent breastfeeding confusion, but i’m guessing that if she takes one about every other day for the next two weeks, she should have enough exposure to know what she’s doing when others are caring for her. i’ve also been working on putting her down for naps and bedtime before she is fully asleep. she did much better falling asleep on her own tonight than i expected her to. i will not do “crying it out” with her – i know it works for some people, but it’s not for us. i have found “the no-cry sleep solution” by elizabeth pantley to be very helpful. actually, we haven’t had a lot of major sleep problems. the biggest issue is her fussiness before bed. i also want to break her of the habit of sleeping a lot in my arms, even though it’s my favorite way for us to nap…

anyway, on to broader things. i was hoping to watch the republican convention with a great deal of focus this week in the name of fairness, but tonight was of course pre-empted by tropical storm gustav. thankfully, it seems to be less powerful than was predicted. regarding the convention, i’m hoping it isn’t overshadowed by all of the analysis of sarah palin’s family. i was surprised and intrigued by mccain choosing her last week – dare i say i was even somewhat impressed? now the plot just keeps getting thicker and thicker with her. but regarding news about her daughter, i think this article reflects a lot of common sense and decency.

i must go to sleep now. g’night!