i’m almost afraid to write anything tonight, for fear that it’s impossible to share the past few days in any coherent, worthy fashion. but my goal here is to be transparent, and y’all are my community and body. i want you to know what is happening in my life, so that it makes more sense, and so that you can question me when it’s necessary, and so that we can really be living this life WITH each other.
ok, that was the disclaimer. here’s the story. i met a boy this week. daniel has been turning my life upside-down in ways that i didn’t think were actually possible. he found this little blog when a mutual acquaintance suggested that he might be interested in some of my thoughts on injustice. he was, and e-mailed me, starting a dialogue that – since this past sunday – has turned into hours of instant-messaging and phone conversations leading to him taking a road trip with me to muncie to bring in the new year with my dear ones there. i think i’m still floating. (yes, i know that i’m infatuated, but i’m going to enjoy that. then i’m going to enjoy the dirty reality of really getting to know the messiness of another person.) there is so much that i could say about him. he’s funny and smart and talented. he’s a storyteller and has a true gift for speaking the truth, both in conversation and on film. he loves jesus deeply and his neighbor almost as deeply. his heart is broken by the world in the same ways mine is. he was at home with my friends immediately, and that is no small feat. (my friends tend to be a bit protective of me) he sings flaming lips songs to me, and does a pretty good david sedaris impression. (if you’ve been reading my blog very long, you know that is important!) it seems he’s suddenly made his way up to the position of being my new best friend – also no small feat. follow the link, see what you think for yourself.
the best way to sum it up is this: for the first time in my life, i feel like i may not be destined to live out my calling alone.
don’t worry – i know that i can be an emotional person, and i know that it sounds crazy to be writing so much about a boy i’ve know less than a week. it is a little crazy. but i also know that the Spirit is in this, whatever may come. so. there it is. also, we’ve decided that this is a story we both want to blog about from the beginning. we kind of have to, if we’re serious about being open and vulnerable and accountable.
ok, if you’ve made it this far, there have been a few other things on my mind. i’ve been feeling like the prodigal daughter lately, in the midst of the Father’s welcome home party. i keep waiting for punishment to fall, but all there is is celebration and his embrace. really, this is another thing that i can’t express with words. but the word is living, and i can’t seem to get enough of it. i ended the year in romans 8, which is one of those places i always seem to find myself coming back to. “…the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express…” i find myself speechless so often. and i think it’s pretty darn cool that we don’t need words to be heard!
i’m getting a cold. i think it’s time to get ready for bed. please note, there has been a little update to my fotopage.
sweet dreams, dear ones!