i just remembered one of the big things that was on my mind last week, particularly after a house church discussion that was good, but left me screaming inside, “we waste so much freakin’ time on words!!” i am a writer, and i love to have intellectual arguments about what words mean. but sometimes, especially when it comes to the etymology and semantics of faith, i just get weary. the bible itself tells us to “avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.” (titus 3.9) i don’t want to be the angst-ridden, cynical voice of judgement. i’m every bit as guilty of navel-gazing as the next person. but why are we talking so much when we should be using our time doing the things God commands us to do, like doing good and being kind and loving our neighbor? are our own voices drowning out the voice of the Spirit?
i’m one of those people who is reluctant to fully embrace the supernatural. you know – prophecies, visions, dreams, miraculous healings, etc. in theory, i really do believe in these things. but i often don’t recognize them when they show up in my daily life. or, perhaps more significant – i don’t usually find myself asking God to show me such things. i prefer to take satisfaction in the “little,” subtle miracles. i think i’m just afraid that i’ll turn into an emotional freak who doesn’t think, but lives purely on my feelings.
so, there’s the dilemma. i value intellect and logic and raw thinking. but it gets in the way of Life sometimes.
i just want to stop talking and get out of the way.