joyful girl

enjoy this footage from one year ago today. (no, i will not post alex’s birth day video every year, but i’m feeling nostalgic!)

here are daniel and i, exactly one year ago today. we look tired, don’t we? that’s because we were surviving on very little sleep and the prospect of imminent, irrevocable change in our lives. we had also just spent the better part of the day deciding to go ahead and schedule a c-section for the next morning to deliver our potentially 11+ pound little girl 9 days overdue, which was one of the most emotionally-charged decisions of our entire pregnancy. i wanted a drug-free, natural delivery, but by the time this day arrived, i really just wanted her to be born very soon and to be healthy.
a few minutes after we took this portrait and made a couple of videos with our new camera, we were deciding how to spend our last evening as just the two of us when my water suddenly broke all over the eames chair in daniel’s office. i had always wondered if i would recognize that my water was breaking, but there was no doubt about it. along with the water came a sense of hope that just maybe God was going to give us the kind of birth plan that we had wanted all along. as it turned out, alex did arrive via c-section the next day, but not until i got to share the long labor process with my husband and my dear friend and doula nikki. the sharing with them is really what stands out to me about labor, and i’m so glad that we got to have that experience.
a year later, it’s another hot june evening, but this time i got to spend it watching my toddler(!) play with her dad and dance to bob marley, and my life is so good.
so, tomorrow will be all about her, but today my thoughts are more about my husband – we made it through our first year as parents, love, and i am so thankful that i get to share this with you. i’m so thankful that our marriage is stronger now than ever, and i can’t wait to see what happens next!

when i really stop to think about it, i’m a little overwhelmed at how fortunate and blessed i’ve been to have been born into the circumstances that have become my life. through no effort of my own, i ended up with a pretty great dad.
he let us sleep with him on lazy weekend mornings, he always provided for us, even if it meant working three jobs at once. he built a life that allowed for my mom to stay at home with us. he is a great teacher, and a man of integrity. he has taught my brother and i to take responsibility for our choices, and also has made it clear that he loves and supports us even if our choices are different from his. he continues to give generously to our family and to families around the world. he builds garden beds for me, and supports pastors in india. he is my dad, and i love him. happy father’s day, dad!

i’ve also been blessed to have married a great father.
from the moment of her birth, daniel has loved alex more than i think either of us ever thought was possible to love another person. he makes her laugh and he protects her. he works hard to provide for us and build a life that allows for me to stay at home and care for her. i recently heard a professional comment that “daughters need their fathers to love them, and their mothers to accept them.” i have no doubt that alex will know she is deeply loved and valued by her father, and i have to say, that gives me a lot of peace as i think of raising a girl in this culture. i love you, daniel! happy father’s day!

every now and then, i see occasional blog posts about what a typical day is for the writer. i like the idea, both for those of you who are interested, and for me to be able to look back and remember what my daily life was like when alex was nearly one(!).
most mornings, alex wakes me up around 6 or 6:30am. we used to sleep until about 8 or 9, but now that she’s sleeping the whole way through the night, those days are gone. if i’m really tired, i get her and bring her back to our bed to nurse and hope that she dozes off again until at least 7. if not, we go downstairs, change the diaper and nurse for a bit. then i settle her with a book or toy while i let the dog outside and make my coffee. i take it pretty slowly – checking email, etc., while i drink my coffee and she plays nearby or snacks on some cheerios. that is my ideal early morning, but usually her playing turns into me thwarting her attempts to do her own internet surfing or coffee-drinking or stair-climbing. we hang out, nurse intermittently, and then i make our oatmeal around 8:30 – mine with brown sugar and her’s with mashed banana and flax seed. after that, it’s a shower for mama and washing dishes or starting laundry. somewhere in the morning, alex takes a mini-nap for about half an hour and i either do some work or have another cup of coffee.
when daddy wakes up, it’s usually a little play time with him, and then when he leaves for work around 11 or 12, it’s actual nap time. (we’re in the middle of reconfiguring morning naps.) after wake-up and a delicious lunch of something like avocado and fish, we usually do something fun – a few times a week, that involves playing with our friends and neighbors sarain and mink. other exciting activities include going to target or walking to save-a-lot to get some groceries, walking to the park, going to the library, play dates with friends, etc. i really try to get out of the house in some form.

after her late afternoon nap, we often go out and work in the garden and yard. our yard has been kind of a lost cause since we moved in four years ago, and this is the first summer i’ve actually been around to try to redeem it. it’s also the first time we’ve had a somewhat successful garden. yay! sometimes alex plays in the dirt. other times, she occupies herself with her plastic slide while i pull lots of weeds from our weedy yard and flower beds. sometimes we stay inside and watch ellen or oprah. (alex loves the music on ellen.)
around 6, alex gets her dinner while i start prepping for mama and daddy’s dinner. it’s usually messy for her, so she goes straight into her bath afterwards.

after bath, alex gets some naked time while i clean up, and if the dog is lucky, we all go for a walk together and relax until daniel comes home around 7:30ish – then it’s more play time with daddy until bedtime at 8. after that, we eat our dinner and i either get busy finishing laundry or cleaning the kitchen, or i play a lot of word twist on facebook and watch tv. and then it’s suddenly 11pm, like right now, and i realize that i should get some sleep, because 6:00 comes early!

g’night!

oh – tell us about your days, pretty please!

p.s.
if you look closely in the first picture, you can see where alex fell off of a chair and split her lip last week. no stitches, but lots of blood at first. seriously, though, you would think nothing happened after the first five minutes – the girl is tough!

-2

Originally uploaded by amy joy

today alex and i were spending some time with a dear friend who said something like, “i’m glad that you don’t get freaked out by things like dirt,” as she watched alex crawling around at the conservatory. i’m learning to accept the fact that my child will most likely be the one with some stains on her clothes and food on her face. but hey – sometimes i feel like sticking my entire face in a bowl of yogurt, too!

do you remember the show blossom? have you ever wondered what happened to its star, mayim bialik? as it turns out, she’s been busy getting a PhD in neuroscience and also attachment-parenting her two sons. here is an interview that i love for her candidness and down to earth approach to parenting in a gentle way. (i also get a sense of her not judging others who do it differently.) in an earlier interview, she talks about her experience being made over by “what not to wear,” which is also fun – slightly fluffier, but it’s interesting to hear her perspective on fashion as a conservative jewish woman who only wears skirts or dresses, and does not wear sleeveless tops. it’s really refreshing to me to read about a celebrity who sticks to her own convictions about modesty and making family her top priority. maybe some of you will find it refreshing, too!

did you know that may is national foster care month? did you know that i spent approximately 10 years before staying at home with alex working with foster children in one capacity or another? needless to say, it’s a issue that is close to my heart. i think a lot of people are hesitant to foster because of the uncertainty of how long a child might be in your home, or a fear of being overwhelmed by the issues that have brought a child the the place of needing care. but i also know that a lot of children (and parents) have been kept from falling totally through the cracks by being part of a nurturing, consistent home for a season.

so, in honor of foster care month, here is some basic information to get you started in columbus, if you’re so called or inclined. and, wherever you may live (in the u.s.), if you have a calling or inclination for adopting the children who aren’t able to go back to their birth families, here is some information for you.

thanks for looking!

according to a recent facebook quiz, i am a “kind of crunchy” parent, and it’s true – we definitely lean toward attachment parenting in our house, and i think that following one’s instincts is usually a good idea. we spread out vaccinations, alex has frequently been worn in the sling or the ergo, i plan on letting her decide when to stop breastfeeding, and we have been co-sleeping all of her life. (the true definition of co-sleeping is sharing a room, and she’s been in our room since birth, and has shared the bed more often than not since about four months.) overall, the sleeping situation has worked pretty well, but it’s become more clear over the past month or so that it’s time to get her out of our bed. she’s too active, we aren’t sleeping as well, and a lot of times it ends up just being her and me. i’m ready to share my bed with just my husband again, thank you very much! it was also getting more difficult for her to stay asleep after nursing to sleep, with frequent wake-ups, not letting me put her down, etc. so, after lots of deliberation and talking to friends with similar parenting styles and reading lots of reviews of the ferber method by otherwise attached parents, i decided to try it. some people call it “crying it out,” but it’s actually a lot more engaged method of letting a child cry than just sticking them into a crib and leaving them until they cry themselves to sleep. still, i was reluctant to try it. but guess what – she’s learning to fall asleep on her own, and it’s kind of exciting! the first night, it took an hour. the second and third, less than twenty minutes. sunday about ten, and last night less than five. is it too early to declare success? she’s still her normal happy and attached self during the day, and i’m learning that it’s ok to follow my instincts even if it means that i know about half of you are feeling sorry for my baby being kicked out of the bed, and the other half are wondering why in the world i didn’t do it months ago.

in other news, baby girl is 10 1/2 months old, and exploring her world with gusto! we’ve now officially entered the the stage of her moving non-stop when she’s not sleeping, and my chasing her around, since she can’t yet be trusted to not fall down the stairs or eat everything that she can find with her tiny fingers.

in a week and half, we’ll be leaving for our first plane trip in a long time, and alex’s first ever – hurrah! one of my sister-friends is getting married in new hampshire, and i’m so thrilled to see her start her life with her beloved – she’s waited a long time for him, and it’s very exciting. also – the wedding has a st. francis of assissi theme – how cool is that?

the girl is awake from her nap – time to go. happy tuesday!

yesterday, i was looking at alex’s cute shoes, thinking that it would be fun to get her another pair so that she has some options, and that maybe i could justify getting the cheaper brand at target, even though in reality her shoes basically serve to keep her socks on and she has no need for another pair, and i’m trying to be a good steward of our resources, etc. but oh, baby shoes are cute! a little while later, i checked my email and had a facebook message telling me that i had won a free pair of isabooties! it was part of a giveaway i had entered a few months ago and forgotten, and this week i happened to be one of the daily winners. hurrah! so i got busy and picked out this pair in the size that alex will be ready for this summer.

i’m thinking that God might be laughing at me a little in all of this. when i quit my job to stay home with alex, the numbers didn’t really make sense on paper, but we were pretty confident that it was the right decision for our family, and took a step of faith that our needs would be met. lately, i’ve been feeling a little anxious about our needs. daniel is working hard and doing a great job of providing for us, and skreened is a growing, profitable business, which in itself is quite a feat in this economy. but we’re still catching up from the beginning of skreened and our investment in it, and we have employees to support, and our health insurance is way more than we had thought it would be because alex has a pre-existing condition which isn’t that big of a deal in her life, but is for the insurance companies, and so i’ve been a bit of a worrier, even though we always have just what we need. and then God goes ahead and gives me a free pair of hip, eco-friendly baby shoes. and free starbucks last week when i was grumbling because daniel wanted to buy a latte for a friend. and free tip top for him the night before when i was grumbling because he was going out with a friend who really needed his support at the time. silly me. maybe it’s time to stop the worrying.

nine months

Originally uploaded by amy joy

alex turned nine months old today. to celebrate, we went the the conservatory to see the butterflies. ok – we didn’t really go to celebrate, but we did go to hang out with sarain and mink, and to get out of the house. usually the conservatory is pretty quiet on weekdays, but apparently it is spring break and it was a rainy day, so lots of parents seemed to think that seeing the annual butterfly exhibit would be a great way to spend quality time with their children. we quickly left the butterfly room and checked out the other wings, including this fountain, at which alex finally discovered the art of splashing.

doesn’t she look kind of grown-up? this picture is a little deceptive – while she stands pretty well when we stand her against something, alex isn’t pulling herself up or cruising yet. she also isn’t doing a full-on official crawl, but gets around quite nicely with her army crawl. she has chosen her first word (aside from “mama” and “dada,” which are a little hit and miss with their accuracy.) the big word is “cat”! it sounds a little more like “tat,” and she uses it for both the cat and the dog, but she definitely knows that it is the word for her pets, and does a pretty good job of pointing out cats in her books. she also says “hi” (more like “ha!”) while waving, which she likes to do a lot. she’s getting increasingly social, and seems to really like being around people. overall, she’s turning into a pretty happy, easy-going child, which i am so, so thankful for. she does have strong opinions, but generally is really a lot of fun.